When Taylor Swift first revealed the track list for her new album, The Life of a Showgirl, some fans immediately clocked one song titled “Ruin the Friendship,” speculating that it was about her rumored falling-out with her longtime confidant Blake Lively.
To recap: Lively is embroiled in a very public legal battle with her It Ends With Us director and costar Justin Baldoni, which Swift got pulled into against her will, leaving some to ponder if the dispute significantly strained the singer’s relationship with Lively. Neither has publicly addressed the rumors.
As Entertainment Weekly previously noted, Swift says she recorded Showgirl during the European leg of her Eras Tour, so likely between May and August of 2024. If the album was written and recorded during that time, “Ruin the Friendship” likely isn’t about Lively, given that the It Ends With Us drama began in earnest in December of last year.
Now those theories about “Ruin the Friendship” have officially been debunked. Instead of ruminating on a recent rift, the mid-tempo track starts off with Swift thinking about an old pal from high school and what could have been between them. The singer recalls Nashville’s Gallatin Road, watching games from the boy’s Jeep, and even details from her high school prom — 50 Cent shout-out and all — as she laments in the chorus, “And it was not an invitation / Should’ve kissed you anyway.”
Later, she confesses that while she and the boy were close, she didn’t take their relationship further because she didn’t want to… ruin the friendship: “Don’t make it awkward in second period,” Swift sings. “Might piss your ex off / Lately we’ve been good / Staying friends is safe / Doesn’t mean you should.”
But a little bittersweet reminiscing this is not: “Ruin the Friendship” features an absolutely heart-wrenching third-act twist. Dropping her voice to a mournful whisper, Swift sings, “When I left school I lost track of you / Abigail called me with the bad news / Goodbye… / And we’ll never know why.”
Mert Alas & Marcus Piggot
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Abigail, as true Swifties know, is Abigail Anderson Berard, Swift’s close friend since high school. She’s also heavily featured in Swift’s song “Fifteen,” off her 2008 album, Fearless. “Ruin the Friendship” doesn’t state which of their high school friends has died, but Swift does use a lyrical callback toward the end of it, singing, “It was not an invitation / But I flew home anyway / With so much left to say.” Capturing the pain of losing an old friend who was way too young, she continues, “It was not convenient, no / But I whispered at the grave / ‘Should’ve kissed you anyway.'”
Swift saves one final gut punch for the song’s conclusion, in which she reflects on the lesson she’s learned and offers some words of wisdom: “My advice is always ruin the friendship / Better that than regret it / For all time.”
Damn you, Taylor Swift.
